Greetings, strangers, and welcome. Please beware that because I’ve been too crap to update this blog properly for ages that this post is frustratingly long.
This is sort of continued from here. I considered splitting this into two posts but since when I write entries called ‘Blah Yakka Meh – Part One’ a ‘Blah Yakka Meh – Part Two’ doesn’t often seem to transpire, I decided against it.
I am indeed still in the land of the living, not that anything about the pursuit of living my life is particularly interesting. Which is partly why I haven’t written anything substantive in forever – though most of it is down to anhedonia. Or laziness. Whatever. I don’t feel especially depressed as of this writing, but the weird thing about depression, as I’ve found it at least, is that you can be in an episode without realising it. In fact, I’m going to (sort of) empirically test that contention…
Sorry to those of you who commented on the last post that I haven’t yet responded to. When I started my ex-blog, I felt compelled to reply to every comment that was left for me, and that continued for a while. When it waned, I vowed that any new blog would not fall fowl to the same affliction – and yet it has. In my defence, my mental health isn’t great at the minute and I’ve always been a terrible correspondent, but I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.
Anyway, for those of you that follow me on Twitter or Facebook – my real life Twitter or Facebook accounts, that is, for I have not been following the ones allied to this blog for several weeks – you’ll know that further to my dilemminating last entry, I did in fact go to Edinburgh with my mother. I emailed the letter I’d composed to my therapy centre and they were gracious enough to accept it, instructing me to simply turn up at the next week’s meeting. As it turned out, I wasn’t the only person to miss the first week, but I’ll come to that.
If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you may have heard that I have a new CPN, due to the long-term illness of my previous one (I suspect she’s off with her own version of madness, based on a few factors, but who knows?) Those of you with the password to my previous post (email me or DM me on Twitter if you would like it) will know that there is a shake-up in the psychiatry system meaning that I’m probably going to lose this CPN in the near future too; it’s very frustrating that I’ll be getting a third within maybe eight months or so, but my psychiatrist wanted me to see this woman anyway since she has now reduced my Seroquel intake to a maintenance dose of 300mg, which could potentially have dredged up our old friends of mood instability and psychosis. Better to have someone rather than no one, my consultant suggested. Fair enough.