New CPN

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you may have heard that I have a new CPN, due to the long-term illness of my previous one (I suspect she’s off with her own version of madness, based on a few factors, but who knows?) Those of you with the password to my previous post (email me or DM me on Twitter if you would like it) will know that there is a shake-up in the psychiatry system meaning that I’m probably going to lose this CPN in the near future too; it’s very frustrating that I’ll be getting a third within maybe eight months or so, but my psychiatrist wanted me to see this woman anyway since she has now reduced my Seroquel intake to a maintenance dose of 300mg, which could potentially have dredged up our old friends of mood instability and psychosis. Better to have someone rather than no one, my consultant suggested. Fair enough.

Anyway. The short version? My new CPN seems nice.

The long version? Let’s see…

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Guided Imagery in Therapy – Part Two

This is the second post in a series I am writing exploring the use of guided affective imagery as a psychotherapeutic device. Each post is/will be, broadly speaking, a free-writing exercise based on my experiences of this technique in my own therapy sessions. The first post in the series can be found here.

The door is open, and I can now see inside the house. There is a corridor – well, a hall I suppose, but it feels more like a corridor, as it’s not particularly homely – stretching out in front of me. It’s a musty brown in colour, though it feels as if I am looking at it through a lens of grey. It doesn’t feel frightening as such, but there is something about it that urges caution in me.

What leads off from it? the voice enquires.

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Guided Imagery in Therapy – Part One

The following is the first of a series I intend to write on guided imagery – also known as guided affective therapy or katathym imaginative therapy – as a psychotherapeutic device. Although punctuated and (hopefully!) free from any major grammatical errors, it’s essentially a free-writing recollection of my therapy sessions in which this technique was used.

I am told there is a house on a hill. Can I see it in my mind?

Close eyes, lean back head, breathe deeply. But eventually…yes. Yes, I can.

And am I willing to agree to a guide taking me around the house, but let my own mind decide the specifics of the house’s aesthetics?

I draw breath, and close my eyes briefly in contemplation. But yes. Yes, I am.

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Lovecraft and Madness

How do you view the psychiatric phenomenon of psychosis? Is psychosis the quintessential stereotype of madness – people so badly affected by a mental illness that they live only in the world of apparent make-believe, where they talk to imaginary friends, view ‘real’ people with morbid suspicion, and worry that the pair of curtains that adorn the window are symbolic of communication from alien races?

If anything, it’s an idea that has been almost romanticised by fiction and the film industry – but if you’re reading this, then the chances are you know that it’s bollocks. All those things can be true of someone suffering from a psychotic episode, but the idea that it is a permanent state that routinely requires a strait jacket and a padded cell is as outdated as it is offensive.

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The Many Faces of Me

Sometimes, images capture words better than words capture ideas. I threw this together this afternoon, and thought it grasped some of my many facets pretty well. And yes, by the way, it is me in the pictures. This is only a semi-anonymous blog, after all! I’ve put the images in the ascending order from least to most important. So yeah, I’m someone with a mental illness, but more importantly, I have many interests; more importantly again, I’m characterised by many things; and most importantly, I am many things.

I hope you like these. Continue reading